Ugly as Sin.

Aside from childbirth, your least favorite aunts funeral and finding out you've gotten rid of that nasty case of Crabs;Your wedding day is supposed to be  one of the happiest days of your life.

So it is a mystery to me why some people choose to wear some of the ugliest shit to ever see daylight on their wedding days. These are a few of my (least)favorites. 

Here Comes (The Ugliest) Bride (Ever):

Anyone who chooses to wear this should be hung up by their toenails and whipped to death. 

I'm all about the vintage look, but this is disgusting. 

Words cannot even describe this... 

Was your last wish  before committing suicide to get married ? You fucking freak. 

 

This is what the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbuster's Fiancee would wear at their weeding. 

This was supposed to be inspired from "The Corpse Bride". Which is fitting because, the only way you could my ass to wear this dress, is if I was dead. 

Oh Hey, Wanna get married at Ren Fest ? Yes? Oh okay. Cool. I'm an idiot. 

Now, this one pisses me off a whole lot. Because it was inspired by Marie Antoinette, whom I am obsessed with. This looks more like a rejected costume from the Drag Show version of Moulan Rouge. Fuck this dress and the lady that made it. 

Marketed as a "Beach Wedding Dress". Also, it's handy if you're camping and run out of toilet paper. Softer than Charmin  and it won't leave TP behind in your asshole !

For fucksake. Get a life. You are not a fairy, and that Tutu is hideous. And those things in your hair ? You look like your a cast member from Allegra's Window. 

I loved this show. When I was 7. Grow up you stupid bitch. 

You know what would  be a GREAT finishing touch for your tacky wedding dress? Fake white roses. With hot glue dew drops. And, it just so happens, that Wal-Mart had a sale last month. I've been looking for some way to use these ! 

Didn't loose all the weight you wanted to before the nuptials? No biggie. This disgusting piece of shit will cover your giant ass. You can also store midgets under there for the  reception skit you've been planning. 

I don't think any explanation is needed for this one. 

Hey, Elizabeth Smart, when your done passing out Bibles and  eating the scrapes I left you in the Dungeon, put this stupid ass dress on. I'm going to make you my second wife and  have you bear my Army for Jesus. Halla-Fucking-Lu-Ya! 

If you wear this on your wedding say, you're just asking for people to throw rancid meat at you on your way down the aisle. 

FUCK. YOU. 

This is  the single most retarded thing I have ever  seen anyone in their entire life wear. You are an idiot  and  anyone that would want to marry you is bat shit crazy. I hope you are mistaken for an alien and the CIA snipers you in the left temple. Asshole. 

I couldn't afford a wedding dress, so I took one of those disgusting afghans my Great Aunt Vesper made me, and turned it into an equally vile wedding gown. Yay for creativity !

Muppets do Marriage ! 

This was also marketed as a "Beach Wedding Dress". So, if you're a fucking HOOKER and you decide to put the old Ball N' Chain on  your best tipping John, here's the dress for you. Also, guests (most likely other hookers and your Heroin dealer) will be able to see your cervix in this dress, but since you've shown it to most of Downtown Houston, it's no biggie. Enjoy that honeymoon to Crystal Beach, whore. 

I just.... I just don't get it. 

It looks like someone drank a bunch of grape juice and then vomited on the bride because this dress was already so ugly. The color just makes her skin 'pop', like her cherry will later tonight. 

And last, but certainly NOT least, my personal favorite Wedding Dress Catastrophe : 

Get. The. Fuck. Out. Of. Here. 

OMG. WTF. LAWLZ. RAWR. 

This dress is  made of latex. She is wearing a big, huge, black CONDOM on her wedding day. With purple and black plaid for a nice accent. Fuck you, and the  planet you came from. Is no one else grossed out that this person is going to smell like a fucking condom on her wedding day? I know from personal experience, that smell doesn't go away quick. And, can you imagine how HOT that things going to be ? I pray to GOD this isn't for a summer  wedding. When she gets out of that thing, she going to look like a big, dumbass, Gothic prune. And she's going to smell like Smegma and weed. 

Holy shit, this is so terrible.