Jobs & Jimi

No, I am not referring to hand jobs. This isn't 8th grade and no one is in a fucking movie theatre. I'm updating the blog today, with tomorrow's "Blackie of the day", BECAUSE I got a job. A REAL LIVE LEGAL JOB. With checks and W2's. I am so fucking excited I almost pooped in my leggings. I start training Tuesday, and  hopefully will have the first paycheck I've had in 3 years soon. WHATCHYEW KNOW BOUT ME?!? So, obviously, I am celebrating tonight in the classiest way I know how- by getting completely fucking wasted and probably  vomiting on  someones carpet, and I will probably  be WAY to hungover tomorrow to even want to think about blogging, black people, or any of you assholes.Word. Also, I am returning to the motherland this weekend to go pick out wedding dresses for my friend, and probably weep into my Mimosa because I'm still stingle. So, if the posts are few and  far between, have no fear, I will return to blogging Monday & promsie to make up for any missed posts. I also, may award more than one Blackie, if I want too. Double Word.

*Also, if any of you loyal readers are in the 'motherland' area this weekend HOLLA ATCHYO GIRL. If you don't know what the Motherland is, you're a fucking retard. And I refuse to enlighten you on here, as to remain as anonymous as possible. Kthanksbai.

Black Person of the Day!

Jimi Hendrix !

This was one  cool as mother fucker. I mean , honestly, look at that badass headband and tell me he's not cool. Not only has he inspired hipster fucks all over the world to rock a headband, but anyone  that can wear a shirt that looks like it has cat vomit on it, and still be cool, is alright in my book. He played Woodstock, banged Janis Joplin, sang a song about 'Purple Haze',made some great fucking music, smoke a whole lot of ganja & died from overdosing on sleeping meds and subsequently choking on his own vomit, which was mostly red wine. It doesn't get much more 'Rockstar' than that right there. You can't really listen to rock music, or smoke weed, without appreciated the genius that was and is, Mr. Hendrix. He took the National Anthem, which is probably the most boring song ever, and  just completely rocked the fuck out of it. Anyone  who can make  America trendy, is brilliant. Because, let's be honest- we're kind of lame. NOBAMA, FTW!*

*JK I <3 Black people. And he's smoking hot. I bet he's hung like a Moose....er'...maybe a Water Buffalo is more fitting, seeing that he's black ? IDK.

DING DING DING ! WE HAVE A WINNER!

Like I said before, If any of you suggest a "Blackie Award Winner" IN THE COMMENT BOX OF THE BLOG, and I decide to use your suggestion you win a prize. Seeing  that I know everyone reading this stupid thing, the prize will be  something I think you'd enjoy, like a picture of  my cooter, to hang above your bed or couch. With all of that said - Today's Black Person of the Day, was suggested by my most loyal reader & MAIN BITCH, Brigett Abramski. So, nigga, you gown' get a prize. Sup ?

As soon as the prize is picked, I will let you know. And when/if you get your prizes, I ask that you send a picture of you with it. Not just  because I want to post pictures, but because what I pick will probably  be  really fucking tacky  and vulgar and I want to see you actually touch the dirty thing.

Anyways, going to binge drink and  hopefully get alcohol posioning now.

Peace out, mother fuckers.