PMS Can Suck My Dick

I really hate having a vagina sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I'd much rather have a vagina than a smelly piece of string cheese and two hair prunes in between my legs, but having a vagina sucks gorilla ass  sometimes. 

Apparently, women are cursed with periods, because Eve ate the forbidden fruit, or some bullshit like that. You know what I have to say to you, Eve? Fuck you bitch. You couldn't stay away from a single piece of fruit, and now every month I turn into a insane person who cries at Charmin commercials.

A lot of girls, while on their monthly vaginal exsanguination, will cry, be kind of bitchy and take lots of bubble baths to relieve their cramps. I am not like a lot of girls. When I am blessed with that special little bloody gift every month, I turn into a homicidal maniac. I literally want to kill everyone in sight.People get on my nerves for the dumbest shit ever.You used my chapstick? I'm going to end your life. You ate a piece of Vegan Bacon for breakfast? FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID VEGAN RETARD.

I honestly don't even like to drive or go out in public when I'm like this. I don't like to drive because, anyone going anywhere remotely close to or under the speed limit drives me fucking insane. If someone cuts me off, I write down their license plate number and make a mental note to send a dead cat to their house. Going out in public? Forget about it. Anyone I see becomes an instant asshole. If someone looks at me, it makes me want to kill them. Just absolutely rip out their voice-box, and eat their hearts.

Thank the Lord above that I do not carry a concealed handgun, pepper spray , a taser or sharp pencils. If I did, there would be a lot of dead fucking people out there. But in all honesty, I don't think any jury in the world would convict me. I would simply  be ridding the world of stupid fucking people. I'd be like a Bloody Wonder Woman. 

Anyways, this post is all about vaginas and how much I hate everyone today. I apologize for all of that. And if you have a penis and you are reading this, I'm sorry you had to hear about my Vag woes. Also, fuck you for not having a period. Cockbite.